


this is the first day of my life

by itainthardtryin



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 22:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10796031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itainthardtryin/pseuds/itainthardtryin
Summary: Alex and Maggie had been causally hooking up since Maggie's last relationship ended and Alex started exploring her sexuality, but a year down the line, things don't seem just as casual anymore.(This was originally going to be like the climax of a multi chapter fic I was planning on writing but I just can't get into the right head space to write the whole thing, so I thought I'd just share this as a oneshot!)





	this is the first day of my life

Maggie laughs. “And besides, it’s not like we’re  _ dating _ .”

That’s how it starts. 

Alex sees her opportunity and swallows hard as she gathers the courage to ask the one question she’s wanted to know the answer to for months. “Why  _ aren’t  _ we dating?” She manages to keep her voice soft, even though she can feel the wobble in her throat. 

Maggie runs her eyes over Alex’s face, trying to clock whether she’s being serious or not. It takes a second, maybe two, for her to realise she is. “Alex, you know why.” 

“Because this is a  _ casual _ thing,” she says, repeating the words Maggie’s told her multiple times. It seemed less and less believable when she went from telling her it was casual at night, to when they were still just  _ casual _ during morning afters, and during dinner, and a whole host of other things that didn’t include sex. “So you’ve said. But Maggie, this feels like anything other than casual to me.” She’s surprised at how calm she is.

“You knew what you were getting into when we agreed to start this,” Maggie explains. “I’m just out of a long term relationship, you’re wanting to explore your sexuality, it  _ works _ .” Alex knows that was their terms. But she’s heard them over and over, and Alex wonders whether Maggie keeps repeating them for Alex’s benefit or her own. 

“That was a year ago,” Alex starts. “We’re not the people we were back then.” Alex can see Maggie almost roll her eyes and she knows Maggie doesn’t want to hear this, but she has to. “Back then you were broken. I was unsure. But we’ve helped each other work through our issues and we’re different people now. Stronger.”

“You might be, but I’m not.” 

Alex’s heart breaks. “You are. Trust me.” 

“Alex, it’s just better this way,” Maggie spits. She can feel Maggie pulling away but she wants nothing other than to keep her close.

“Look me in the eye and truthfully tell me that you believe that,” Alex challenges her. 

“Alex…”

“If you truly believe that deep down, it won’t be a problem.” 

The air is thick with the weight of the words, until Maggie sighs, defeated. “Why are you pushing this? Why now?” 

Alex swallows hard. “Because when something good happens, you’re the first person I tell. When I’ve had a rough day at work, I’m dialling your number before I’m even out of the building. My apartment feels empty without you in it, and I’m pretty sure that also applies to my life in general. Without you it’s just… empty.”

“You don’t mean that.” It’s defensive. She’s scared.

“Maggie, why would I lie?” Alex asks gently, shifting her body closer so she can take Maggie’s hands in her own. “God, I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. Look, I’m just going to put my cards on the table here, okay? I want a relationship with you.” She feels Maggie’s hands flinch in her own, almost pulling away but not quite. She’s surprised that Maggie’s hands stay where they are, so she continues. “I’m not going to put words in your mouth or tell you how you feel, but I know that this isn’t just _casual_ for either of us any more no matter how many times we say the words.” 

Maggie swallows nervously. “So what do you want me to do, Alex?” She sounds a little lost, like she’s genuinely asking for guidance. 

Alex reaches up and puts a stray strand of hair behind Maggie’s ear. “I want you to think about what you want from this. From us. Take some time and think about who we were then and who we are now. And if you truly don’t want to make this into something not so casual, then I’ll accept that. But if you do… then my cards are already on the table. So show me yours.” 

Maggie takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. “Give me a day.” Alex smiles. “Just give me a day to work through stuff on my own, okay?” She looks deep in Alex’s eyes for a moment considering whether to say anything more. “Alex, you’re the best thing in my life right now. Just remember that if I fuck this up.” 

Alex takes the words in and stores them away in her heart. “I’ll remember.” She leans in and kisses Maggie on the cheek. 

“I’m gonna… go,” Maggie reluctantly says, making her way towards the door. “A day, Alex. That’s all I ask.” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Alex replies, watching Maggie walking out the door. 

 

//   
  


Alex knows that a day is technically twenty-four hours and it’s been twenty-six hours since Maggie walked out of her apartment, but it’s still only ten thirty and Maggie has shown up far later than that before. 

She’s in the middle of pouring her second glass of scotch when there’s a familiar knock at the door. She wasn’t nervous before, but with those three knocks Alex’s heart begins to race. 

“Hi,” she says, opening it to Maggie, standing there on the other side with a soft smile on her face.

“Hey,” Maggie replies. “Sorry I’m late. Can I come in?” 

Alex steps aside and gestures for Maggie to come in. It reminds her so much of the first time Maggie set foot in her apartment, when they were tiptoeing around each other, Maggie not wanting to rush and Alex not wanting to seem too keen. 

“Drink?” Alex offers, noticing how reserved Maggie seems. 

“No,” she says quietly. “I don’t want to be drunk for this. I don’t want to forget this.” 

Alex is suddenly glad she’s only had one drink tonight and didn’t get round to starting her second. “Forget what?”

Maggie studies her for a second and there’s a new calmness in her eyes that Alex hasn’t seen before. It suits her, she thinks. “I don’t want to forget the night we officially got together.” 

The words hang in the air as Alex processes them. They wrap around her like a hug, enveloping her in warmth. “Maggie…” 

“I thought about it, Alex. I’ve done nothing  _ but _ think about it… and I realised that I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t thinking about you. When I wasn’t counting down to the next time I got to see you, or thinking about our last conversation. Everything in my life comes back to you, and I’m so  _ sorry _ that I wasted so much time because I was scared to let myself lov-” 

She cuts herself off halfway through the word and Alex notices. “It’s okay, I’m not ready to say it either.” The silent understanding of  _ we both feel it, but I just can’t say it, not yet _ passes between them and it takes any remaining tension out of the room. 

“I’m sorry I wasted so much time,” Maggie repeats. 

Alex just shakes her head, stepping closer to Maggie. “I think we needed to take time to get here,” she explains. 

“And here we are,” Maggie smiles, leaning in to capture Alex’s lips with her own. Alex moans at the contact, automatically pulling Maggie closer. The kiss is short but sweet and Alex keeps her forehead against Maggie’s when they break apart. 

“So, are you my… girlfriend?” Alex giggles because it feels so childish but it’s also important to her to hear Maggie say it. 

“I’m your girlfriend, and you’re mine,” Maggie laughs, and everything just feels  _ right _ between them. 

They lean in and reconnect their lips, this time with a renewed passion between them. Alex deepens the kiss and runs a hand up Maggie’s side, subtly dipping under her t-shirt and feeling the skin underneath. She can feel Maggie smile into the kiss at the contact, and the smile turns into a half laugh when Alex’s hand makes it the whole way up to cup Maggie’s breast over her bra. 

“I thought we were taking it slow,” Maggie laughs. 

“I don’t recall ever saying that,” Alex replies, planting small kisses on Maggie’s lips, cheek, chin, and anywhere else she can. “And I know I said we needed to take time to get here, but I see absolutely no reason why I shouldn’t be able to lead my  _ girlfriend _ to bed right now when it feels like we should be marking the occasion somehow…” 

Maggie can’t bring herself to argue with that logic, so she quickly rids herself of the t-shirt and bra that were getting in Alex’s way only a few seconds ago. When Alex gently guides her to the bedroom, Maggie willingly lets herself be led. 

And when Alex looks into her eyes when she comes, Maggie knows she’s found her home. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading/kudos/comments! this is just a oneshot and won't be continued, but feel free to ask me about any headcanons for this au over on tumblr @hartooo :)


End file.
